When You're Gone
by callmefall
Summary: Songfic to Avril's 'When You're Gone'


**Disclaimer: I don't own it! Can I go sulk in the corner now?**

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I felt so lost. I had never needed anyone to be with me when I was upset or sad.

Yet when you told me you couldn't be with me anymore, I felt like clinging to you as I cried.

It felt like time had stopped. Everything seemed to take longer.

And it only got worse when I was alone.

_I always needed time on my own  
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry  
And the days feel like years when I'm alone  
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side_

I replayed watching you walk away. Didn't you see that it didn't matter? That he could come after me for almost any reason? It could be because I'm your best mates little sister. Or because my family is a family of blood traitors. Or because my whole family is in the Order.

Didn't you see that Snape, or Malfoy, could have told him about our relationship. He would know that even if we weren't together anymore, you still care about me!

Didn't you see I needed you?!

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now_

Merlin, I miss you so much! My heart does this weird achy thing when I thought about you.

I'm so worried! I wish that I knew how you were doing... if you were okay.

I looked in the mirror the night of Bill's wedding. I vaguely wondered who the girl looking at me was.

If you were here, you would know what to say... how to make me feel better.

But you're not. You're off saving the world again.

And I'm stuck here, missing you.

_When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok  
I miss you_

School is so hard.

Every time I walk in the Common Room, I involuntarily think of that last Quidditch victory. Whenever I walk out on the grounds towards Herbology, or Care of Magical Creatures, I think of the hours we spent there last summer.

And I can't even hate you for it... I love you too much for that.

_I've never felt this way before  
Everything that I do reminds me of you  
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor  
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do_

But the worst is when I go by Dumbledore's tomb. I remember you walking off, towards the lake, leaving me.

Me needing you.

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now_

I decided I wasn't going to mope anymore around Christmas.

I had gotten to the point where I was someone else. I felt no attachment to my reflection. Why should I? I couldn't even _recognize_ myself.

I won't heal completely... not without having you here, telling me that you'll be okay... but I'll get as close as I damn well can!

No matter how much I miss you, no one will be able to see!

_When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok  
I miss you_

No. _No!_

You are not dead! You can't be dead! He's lying!

You can't be dead! We... we're suppposed to be... together... forever.

This isn't how it's supposed to go! It's just... meant to be... I know it is!

_Please._ I need to feel you! I need to feel that it's all going to be okay! I need you to be here, with me... for me!

_We were made for each other  
Out here forever  
I know we were, yeah  
All I ever wanted was for you to know  
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul  
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah_

My heart is broken.

Shattered beyond repair.

And I know the only thing that can heal it is you being here, telling me you're okay.

But you can't.

I miss you already, and it's only been a minute.

A minute that feels like eternity.

I miss you.

_When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too  
When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok  
I miss you_

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**Well, that wasn't heart-breaking to write at _all. _I might do a sequel with a happy ending, because I don't think I can leave it like that... should I?**

**Was it okay? Please tell using that wonderful little blue 'go' button! (The one next to the drop-down box that says 'Submit Review'!)**

**And for you people who have alerts, sorry, I didn't meant to post it last night... I'm sorry!**


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